Forgiveness: A Gift of Peace You Offer Yourself

 

Forgiveness: A gift of peace you offer yourself.

 

Forgiveness is a word often repeated and a virtue we’re encouraged to cultivate, but forgiveness doesn’t come easily, nor is it instant.

What does forgiveness mean?

Forgiveness is letting go of the hurt and pain that has been inflicted on us. It is the gift of peace that we offer to ourselves. We choose not to let the hurt and pain control us anymore.

Forgiveness does not being okay with what happened or pretending that it doesn’t matter. It’s not about condoning or excusing the offence.  It’s perfectly okay to forgive someone and not speak to them. Setting boundaries is perfectly fine.

Forgiveness can take years, or you suddenly find it our quite unexpectedly.   One fine day, you find that you can relate to what happened with no hard feelings. To forgive requires you to be strong and courageous to be able to let go of the past and look to building a better future.

Two brothers were having differences. It reached a stage where one brother did not attend the other’s wedding. Over the years, they made a fragile peace but it took the offended brother quite a few years to forgive his sibling for not attending the wedding. The brothers speak to each other but a distance has been maintained.

Why is forgiving so difficult?  

·        Holding on to the anger and resentment that imprisons us feels validating and protective.

·        Psychological factors like ego and fear come into play.

 

The benefits of forgiveness

·        Forgiveness aids heart health, reduces stress, and even strengthens relationships.

·        It nurtures emotional resilience and personal growth.

·        Forgiveness brings inner peace and healing.

 

Forgiveness throughout History:

Jesus

·        As he breathed his last on the cross, Jesus uttered the words, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

These words reflected Jesus’ compassion for the people who had so brutally crucified him. He hoped that when the enormity of what they had done came to them and they sought forgiveness, they would be forgiven by God.

·        In the Lord’s Prayer, or the Our Father, we entreat the Lord to “Forgive us our trespasses” as we forgive those who trespass against us.

Nelson Mandela

·         The iconic South African leader, Nelson Mandela, believed that forgiveness was not a sign of weakness, but of strength. “Forgiveness liberates the soul; it removes fear. That’s why it’s such a powerful weapon.

“As I walked out of the door towards the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave the bitterness behind, I'd still be in prison.”

 

Gladys Staines:

·        The widow of Graham Staines, Gladys Staines, chose to forgive the killers of her husband and two young sons rather than respond with hate and revenge.

“I have forgiven Dara (murderer). With forgiveness comes healing. If we don’t forgive, we become bitter. When we forgive, there is no bitterness, and we can live our lives.

 

I conclude with the words of Joyce Meyer, best-selling inspirational author:

“One of the quickest ways to complicate your life is to be easily offended and hold grudges. God tells us in His word to be quick to forgive for a reason. He wants us to enjoy peace, and that is impossible if we are bitter, angry, and resentful. Refusing to forgive is like an acid that destroys the container it is in.”

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