Parenting: Learning by Degrees

 Parenting: Learning by Degrees

 

My parents were an ordinary, hardworking, God - fearing couple who taught us well. They inculcated in my brother and me values and morals that I hold in good stead  and strive to do the same with my offspring.  Dad was a big, burly good natured man with a penchant for song and the stricter of the two. Mum taught in the local convent school finding a balance between work and home. Disagreements notwithstanding, they created a haven of love, laughter, happy days and good times. 

You know naught about parenting when you receive the gift of parenthood and parenting is a humongous responsibility. No book will teach you how to be a parent. Amid trials, errors and a lot of well meaning advice from folk around, you strive to raise your child to be a well balanced individual. Parenting is a rollercoaster ride. There are happy and sad moments. You experience days of intense joy and pride and days when you just want to slink away into some dark corner.

The toddlers grow up all too soon – words, actions, moments and milestones get tucked away into a treasure trove of memories to be relived time and again. Adolescence is a difficult time for both parent and child.  The adolescent is one day an adult looking to carve a niche for him and despite the pangs, you will have to let go… As a parent you are constantly faced with new challenges. Don’t let the challenges break you, let them make you.

 A worrisome trend among children today, are ‘soft addictions’, brought to light by author and life coach Judith Wright.

Children are increasingly becoming slaves to habits that rob them of meaningful activities and pursuits. Soft addictions include excessive screen time, an unhealthy indulgence in junk food and shopping,etc.   Parents must monitor the activities of their children, and inculcate in them responsible behavior. Parents need to project a positive image and emit positive vibes for children to emulate.

To quote Ms. Wright, “Parents can have perspective and need to take responsibility for helping their children manage these soft addictions. Too often, they model behaviors that encourage kids to fall into soft addiction routines instead. For instance, many parents come home from work and spend the majority of post-dinner hours slumped in front of the television. Other parents model gossiping behaviors, spending hours each week e-mailing and phoning friends.”

“I’m not suggesting that parents or their children go “cold turkey” and quit all soft addictions. As human beings, most of us have some soft addictions. We can still live a full, meaningful existence if these activities are part of our lives. But they need to be a minor rather than a major part”. Rediscovering the fine art of conversation, visiting friends, going for walks in the woods, expressing their feelings to people they care about, listening to inspirational music—all this can add meaning.”

“Just as important, it can provide a healthy behavioral model for their children. Consciously or not, kids are great imitators, and softly-addicted parents tend to produce softly-addicted kids. It’s very difficult for parents to tell kids to stop watching so much television when they’re guilty of the same type of mindless, habitual behaviors. Parents will find, however, that if they learn to spend their time more meaningfully, not only will their lives be more satisfying but they’ll help create more satisfying lives for their children.”

In a nut shell when you are a parent:

·       You love unconditionally

·       You experience some life changing experiences

·       You are your child’s first teacher

·       You learn that you  are not infallible

·       You will experience disappointments and heartbreaks yet you must remain strong

·       You give your children roots and then wings.