Worry Less, Live More

 Worry Less, Live More

“Worry is a total waste of time; it doesn’t change anything. All it does is steal your joy and keep you very busy doing nothing.”

 

I tend to be a “worryworm.” I worry 24/7 about things big and small—rising prices, dwindling finances, when the boys will come home, their careers, their life partners, the family’s health, and the list is never-ending. Worrying is like a second nature to many of us, but all it does is steal the joy out of our lives and give us sleepless nights. 

I’ve been told a dozen times that worrying doesn’t solve problems; it doesn’t change the outcome. Stressing over things you can’t control or things that haven't happened yet is exhausting.

(I'm also addressing this post to myself.)

“When I asked him—Mr. Henry Ford- if he ever worried, he replied: "No. I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in charge, I believe that everything will work out for the best in the end.
So what is there to worry about?”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living: Time-Tested Methods for Conquering Worry

  

Why do we worry?

Our worry stems from a sense of wanting to be prepared for and be in control of what lies ahead. Worry is also a response to stress and fear. While worry can sometimes push us to find solutions, excessive worry can lead to distress and disenchantment. This negative trait will then dictate our moods and decisions. Like any other habit, worry can be replaced by intention and awareness.

 

How Does Worry Affect Us?

Mental fog:

Excessive worry dulls the brain and obstructs our ability to think and focus clearly.

 

Physical toll:

Too much worry takes a toll on our physical health. We may begin to suffer from headaches and other issues.

 

Missed Opportunities:

When worry controls us, we miss out on living in the present.

 

Simple Shifts That Help You Worry Less:

·       Focus on what is, not what might be.

Only worry about what is happening today because that may be all you can control.

 

·       Talk it out

Confiding in a trusted friend can make things better.

 

·       Move

Stretch, dance, walk. The exercise releases the tension from your brain

 

·       Let go of the perfection

Being a little messy is okay. When you strive for perfection, you surely will get anxious and worried.

 

·       Practice gratitude

When you’re aware of the blessings in your life, you might feel anxious or worried.

 

When you stop worrying…

 

When you let go of the weight of worry, you create space for joy, creativity, and connection. You begin to live life to its fullest. It’s easy to be a “worryworm,” but worrying won’t change the outcome; living will.

What's that one worry that you are going to let go of and rediscover something that makes you happy? 

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Imagecredit: Pexels

 

Vices We Love: Defending guilty pleasures

  Vices We Love: Defending guilty pleasures

 

 

Dear Vices,

Slowly and surely, you slipped into my life—that bar of chocolate at midnight that plate of pani puri, those outfits I didn’t need, and those occasional nights of binge-watching Downton Abbey. That sugar rush gives me comfort, joy, and escape from a world that can be hard as nails, and despite what society says, I will continue to seek you out.

There are times when engaging in a vice can feel like an act of rebellion against the pressures of life. “I deserve this” or “to hell with diet.” That fleeting sense of freedom feels so good.

Clean living, discipline, minimalism and perseverance are being rammed down my throat, and anything out of the arena is deemed evil or detrimental to my health.  You remind me that I’m not a robot; I’m human, and it’s okay to eat something without counting its health benefits or watch a show just because it’s silly and funny.  

When I’m hurt, disappointed or feel rejected, it is you who offers me comfort. I know I shouldn’t make you a habit and must learn to deal with situations, but sometimes you come to the rescue more effectively than a mantra recited by some guru.

If you help me cope, I feel no regret or guilt, and I don’t feel the need to replace you with something else without punishing myself; I can continue to seek your company. I just need to remember that moderation is the key, and I cannot lose control.

 

          In a world that demands improvement, resilience, and perfection, you allow me to goof around, to be myself, to be human.

 

Thank you.

Marietta.

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Understanding Minimalism: Decluttering for a Better Life

 

I confess I was not big on decluttering and hung on to stuff because I felt that at some point in time, I would need it or because of sentimental value. More recently, I started donating a few of my clothes that I’d hope I would fit into someday, but came to realise that, in all probability, that day would never dawn. The person I’ve donated the clothes to never fails to tell me how happy she is with them and the compliments that she receives. I feel so glad that I’ve made someone else happy. Someone said, “Happiness is a byproduct of making someone else happy.” I’ve started to work harder at disposing of stuff that simply occupies valuable space and feel good about it. It brings a sense of order and organisation into my life. I need to declutter in other aspects of my life. 

Decluttering is a fundamental aspect of minimalism. A minimalistic lifestyle is when you consciously decide what you allow to stay in your home, workplace and life.

You aim at living with less, not for the sake of having less but to make room for what truly matters to you in terms of possessions, relationships, and personal growth.

Undoubtedly, adopting a minimalistic lifestyle begins with decluttering physical space, but it also includes a digital, mental, and calendar declutter. Peace of mind rather than an empty house must be your focus.

 

·        Digital decluttering

Reducing the number of apps and screen time, clearing out old and unwanted emails, unsubscribing from email addresses, unfollowing, and deleting.

 

·        Mental decluttering

Letting go of toxic and superficial relationships, overthinking and multitasking.

 

·        Time management

Saying no to obligations and commitments that don’t align with your priorities.

 

Benefits of Minimalism:

 

·        A Clear Mind

A decluttered space creates clarity of thought and a rational thought process.

 

·        Financial freedom

Spending less and cutting out unnecessary items aids your financial health.

 

·        Environmental impact

Consuming less reduces waste and promotes sustainability.

Finally, minimalism is not about owning less; it’s about adding value to your life and finding peace. There are no rigid rules. What works for one may not work for the other. If I prefer downsizing my wardrobe and uninstalling distracting apps, another may prefer to cut down on purchases and let go of superficial relationships.  

It’s about decluttering your life and not just your closet. 

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Dear A Man Called Ove,

I had heard so much about you that when I spotted you at a book fair, I couldn’t resist grabbing you. You were my first book, by author Fredrik Backman, and I did not know quite what to expect. You turned out to be funny and poignant, and I loved you for that.

You gradually began growing on me as grouchy but principled Ove slowly began revealing his heart of gold in his interaction with his neighbours, whom he considers to be idiots.

The story you hold is simple and realistic, with many emotions like grief, loss, and joy skillfully woven into it. You turned out to be unputdownable.  I’m currently watching your movie A Man Called Otto, starring Tom Hanks, who does a fantastic job of portraying Ove (Otto) on Netflix. 

It’s your day today. Happy World Book Day!

Lots of love,

Marietta

 #TBRchallenge  

The Things I Love Doing Alone

 

The Things I Love Doing Alone

 

 

Shopping—Aside from grocery shopping, I love shopping, especially when I'm alone. When it comes to clothes and accessories, I enjoy taking solo trips. I can take my time, avoid being swayed by someone else's suggestions, and choose whether to buy or not. Unlike grocery shopping, the load is never too heavy.

Dancing- I have 2 left feet and cannot bring myself to dance in public. I am overcome by an unimaginable sense of shyness and fear that I am doing it all wrong. Being home alone is a completely different story. There are days when I switch on music, literally let my hair down and strut my stuff. I know nobody's watching and couldn't be bothered whether I look like a monkey or a bear or whether I’m doing it right or wrong. Just moving to the rhythm of the music gives me a high.

Reading—happiness is curling up with your favourite author when you’re home alone. I enjoy reading and reading minus the distractions is taking happiness to another level.

Writing - Writing needs concentration, and I do it best when alone. Ideas are more forthcoming in the absence of sound and movement. 

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Exercise - it’s fun to exercise in a group or with family and friends but going on that solitary walk also appeals to me. I can walk at my own pace, in my own time and enjoy my own company.

Watching TV/ Binge watching - Binge watching shows that I love all by myself is just so cool.  My husband and I have vastly different choices, and alone I can enjoy the show to the fullest.

Enjoying your own company is great. There are times when you want to be alone, or you have no qualms about doing stuff alone, or there is certain stuff that you love doing alone. 

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Imagecredit : Pixabay. 
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Setting Boundaries: Your peace and space matter.

 

Setting Boundaries: Your peace and space matter. 

 

 

What are boundaries?

Setting boundaries is an essential aspect of self-care. It is a life skill that helps you prioritize and recognize your self-worth and avoid burnout. Boundaries are limits that we establish for ourselves and those set by others to maintain healthy and respectful relationships. Boundaries define what is acceptable to us and what is not. Additionally, setting boundaries also helps us stay stress-free while keeping us financially and emotionally healthy. Boundaries should not be viewed as walls, but rather as bridges to healthier and more meaningful relationships

Kinds of boundaries:

 

Physical boundaries

Physical boundaries relate to our personal space, touch, and proximity. You may not like being hugged or like someone standing too close to you, and you communicate the same to the person.

 

Emotional boundaries

Emotional boundaries relate to how much of what is happening in your life you confide in a person. You may not be comfortable confiding your financial or relationship woes to somebody. Thus, you are setting an emotional boundary.

 

Mental Boundaries

Mental boundaries relate to our thoughts, ideas, beliefs, and opinions. Your beliefs, thoughts, ideas, and opinions may differ from those of your friend, and you and your friend respect the difference, thereby setting a mental boundary.

 

Boundaries are bound to differ from person to person. What spells a comfort level for one may not be the same for the other. Similarly, the boundaries you set for family will be different from those that you set for friends and acquaintances.

 

How do you set boundaries?

 

Understand your needs

Get clear about moments that leave you feeling drained. Your workload may need to be lessened, or you may need more time alone.

 

Be clear in your communication.  

Be straightforward.  You don’t owe anyone a lengthy explanation. A simple “I’m not available today” is more than enough.

 

 

Consistency

Stick with the boundaries you have set. Be assertive. It’s okay to say no because it’s your well-being that matters.  Don’t feel guilty. People may try and push if you’ve been in the habit of obliging. Stand firm. It gets better with practice.

 

Be ready for the brickbats.

Not everyone will take kindly to your boundaries, but that’s fine. Don’t waver.

 

Baby Steps

You need not overhaul your entire life in one go. Take baby steps. You might want to start by responding to WhatsApp messages only within a certain time frame.

 

Be nice to yourself

It’s okay if you slip up once in a while. You don’t need to beat yourself up about it. Setting boundaries is not a one-time task. Be patient with yourself as you master the art of saying no or asking for what you need.

 

Setting boundaries is not selfish but essential. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Once you’ve established boundaries, you show up as the best version of yourself, always present for others.

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Reading: A great tool for self-improvement

 

World Book Day will be celebrated on April 23rd, and being the bookworm that I am, I thought I would honour the day by writing a post on the enjoyable activity of reading.

My parents introduced me to books very early in life, and there was no turning back.  Since then, it has been one long, glorious journey of buying, borrowing, and reading books. This is one never-ending journey that I will never tire of. 

I'm grateful to Dad for the rides he gave me to the local library and the books he bought for me. On a lighter note, he never did approve of Mills & Boon. 

In our ever-changing world, where growth is mandatory, reading remains a timeless tool for self-improvement. A good book will inspire, motivate, inform, educate, and shift perspectives, making it one of the most effective ways to self-improvement.

 

Why Reading Matters:

 

·       Increases knowledge

Books open doors wide to new skills, perspectives, information, motivation, inspiration, language, and vocabulary.

 

·       Improves focus and discipline

In today’s world, where we are given to mindless scrolling, reading cultivates focus, increases your attention span, and improves your power of critical thinking.  

 

·       Boosts emotional intelligence

Memoirs and fiction help you understand human emotions and relationships at a deeper level.

 

·       Enhances creativity

Reading feeds your creativity. Ideas are born from the content you consume.

 

 

 

Incorporating reading into your daily routine

 

·       Set realistic goals

Read daily. Set aside 10 to 30 minutes to read. The time can be broken up into smaller slots over the day if doing it in one stretch is not feasible.  You can begin by reading the newspaper. Plan to read one book a month.

 

·       Take notes

Jot down new words, key insights, and quotes for future reference.

 

·       Join a book club/library/reading community

Discussing books with others opens up new perspectives. Joining a library would be economical and treat you to a wide choice of books. Joining a reading community also works well, as your reading habit remains in place.

My neighbourhood boasts of reading communities that meet weekly to simply get lost in a book.

 

 

·     

Accessibility

Technology enables you to always have a book by your side. Reading apps like Kindle and Audible serve the purpose perfectly. Audible may improve listening skills, and I found it particularly useful after my cataract surgery. 

 

·        Utilising the waiting period

Make use of waiting time, either on a commute or in a doctor’s clinic, to read.

Readathon

I find Blogchatter's weekly Readathon to be a great help to keep the reading habit going. 

I'm participating in the Blogchatter A2Z challenge. 

 

 

 

Happy World Book Day! 

Image credit: My personal pics.