Friendsmaynot be forever

This post may contradict an earlier post, 'Friends are forever.' I am 53 and have I lost any friends along the way? I read this rather interesting article about 'losing friends along the way' The writer received a forward that said, 'if you are not losing friends then you are not growing up.'
 No man is an island and friends are an elixir to life. Life happens, you make friends and somewhere along the way you begin to lose touch with some of them, you find that you have very little or nothing in common, your goals and dreams differ, you walk different paths in pursuit of your goals and dreams and you make new friends along those paths.  Hence in order to achieve your dreams and goals and to grow says the writer losing friends is inevitable. "In order to move on, you need to outgrow people and situations.'You don't need to break friendships, you stay in touch but just about. 
 My significant other swears by the fact that your only friends are the friends that you made in childhood and the college gang that you hung out with.By and large that belief contains many grains of truth.  There are however exceptions to the rule as chaddi-buddies are also known to have drifted apart. 
Social media has helped us find long lost friends, made reunions happen but many on our friend list remain faces and names on the list with no action or interaction. Some virtual 'friendships' are most disconnected. 
Count your friends when your life has been engulfed by storm clouds and you are sinking into the depths of despair. How many will help you weather the storm? Of those that hung out with you how many will hang in with you helping you weather the storm? I am thankful to those who have hung out with me in good times and bad. 
 "A friend in need is a pest indeed'

Another good read - How can you learn to love your own fate? believe in AmorFAti and embrace life as a warrior. 

Amor Fati, says Nona Walia is a latin term which means that you don't just accept your fate but you learn to love it. 
Life is no bed of roses, The roses come with thorns. impossible as it may seem you would do well to embrace and accept the thorns, find the silver lining and take the bull by the horns. .Experience has taught me that complaining and brooding change nothing except for making matters worse.Complaining breeds bitterness and resentment which is not good for health.  Bad things are bound to happen - just let go and the bad things will be gone. Am I right or wrong? 

53 and counting...

It is a quiet Sunday afternoon. I have just woken up from my siesta and thought that I would pen a few lines on the eve of my 53rd birthday.So what do I have to say for myself? 

I was a few kilos lighter last year at this time. The jeans  I wore last year on my birthday are a little too snug for comfort this year. Ah! but isn't that what life is all about? you lose some and you win some!I was in conversation with a college friend whom I have not seen for thirty plus years and we thought that the gang should meet up before ailments get the better of us. Our spirits are up and age is just a number. 
This one year has been none too eventful. Mostly boring house hold chores, mundane stuff but in between, I have managed to crack an article writing course that I had enrolled for 3 years ago and have rediscovered the joys of being a bibliophile in the last  12 months. I consider that quite a  feat for a boring old homemaker! I am presently enjoying Ruskin Bond's subtle humour. Turning pages after all that scrolling is kind of rejuvenating. My very newly cultivated hobby - a potted garden is(tending to precisely 3 pots as of now) seeing me on cloud 9. There is that green and white croton, a Hibiscus plant and a Mogra plant. The huge pale pink and peach hibiscus blossoms are truly a sight for sore eyes.The croton perched on the ledge is a balm to the soul.My better - half gifted me what most women never ever have enough of - clothes and a visit to the salon. 
Here's  to another year of growth and expansion of only and only the grey matter and yes my potted

garden

Not Quite the Garden of Eden.

After a 2-week computer malfunction, I am back to hammering at those keys. The rain  - gods are officially in town but we are still to bear the brunt of the full monsoon. The skies remain overcast with short, sharp intermittent showers.
The Monsoon brings with it, the colour green and the greenery seems infectious. Friends have been posting pictures of beautiful flowers and luscious fruits and I decide to try my hand at gardening.  Mom was an avid gardener many moons ago tending to an array of plants and taking pride in some bright and beautiful blossoms. I was not the least bit interested but today at  50plus am an aspiring green thumb. I live in an apartment in a big, noisy city and so have to make do with a potted garden. I bought two seasonal flowering plants - I am not even quite sure of their names.I was helped by the 18-year-old to set up the potted

garden.He has inherited grandma's love for plants.He has planted a tiny mint plant. The lack of space does not allow many pots or we must get down to some serious organising in the balcony.   There were pretty white flowers on one and yellow on the other. Sadly the plant with yellow flowers died  I did feel more than a tinge of disappointment.The other plant seems to be doing well. but what's that they say? "try try never say die!"Hopefully, I will be able to post pictures of my potted garden one day!

The sugar and spice that is life.

 Fatherhood was celebrated today.The father here was most anxious that his sons wish him and they thankfully did not disappoint. You never know what to expect from 2 males on the threshold of adulthood.Daddy dearest has cashed the cheque presented to him and has shared the bar of dark chocolate with mommy. It was the first time in 22years that mommy had gifted him something from her small but valuable earnings.  Surprisingly there were not too many Father's day texts flying around.  A few had changed their dp's in honour of their fathers. There were a few pictures on Facebook of friends with their fathers or friends remembering their late fathers. The fervour that mother's day generates was missing. ( I could be mistaken)Biologically, a daddy is required to make a mommy, but as things stand today,  modern families may have 2 mommies raising a child or 2 daddies raising a child or a single mommy or daddy raising a child.
 The weekend saw a family reunion at a memorial service for a recently deceased aunt. As is the case family reunions generally take place at weddings and funerals. The junior musician along with his band of boys set the beat for some head banging music at Hard Rock Cafe in Pune. It's called 'Post Rock' music - whatever that means.
Columnist and writer  Shobha De in her latest column in a newspaper explores the concept of insecurity that we are so bogged down with.  'Why are we so insecure?'she asks as she goes about installing CCTV cameras in her home before heading out on a vacation.  Basically, trust is a lost word today, she says. Stories about abandonment, apathy, distrust and despair are daily fare in newspapers. On cue, I met a senior citizen and we got chatting. The silver-haired lady began reminiscing about the past, told tales about times when neighbours would even share a dish well prepared or chat over a cup of chai.  Do we even know who our neighbours are today? Folks remain well connected on social media but quite disconnected otherwise. The internet and the array of electronic devices have done wonders for us- Life is fast and more comfortable but somewhere, something has been lost.Children don't play as much as they should- thanks to the virtual world that they have immersed themselves in.One chats online most of the time rather than offline. Emoticons take the place of emotions, one is distracted by the constant buzz when one is writing. - That one must make it a point to grow up and switch off that buzz when she is working. One may also be tempted to attend to every buzz which is not a good habit.

When bad things happen, you wonder what hit you, why and how it happened and most importantly why it happened to you.Life is hardly fair and the grass is always greener on the other side. 

How do you deal with the crap that life hands out to you? Do you accept your fate or do you fight tooth and nail to turn your life around? 

You are first overwhelmed by feelings of deep resentment and hatred which breed feelings of distrust and despair. You just can't fathom what went wrong -Be it a failing marriage, a financial crisis or delinquent children. Sometimes you cannot change your fate however much you hope and wish for otherwise. You have had a financial breakdown, your life has been ripped apart.You have been told that it is all coming together but  your faith in mankind has been broken. However you have no choice but to keep going. There are other lives that depend on you, so you  decide to take the bull by the horns. 

Be thankful for the small mercies. God works in wondrous ways!

Rants and raves under a June sky.

May slipped out and June slipped in. We are half way through the year. There were ups and downs, highs and lows, laughter and tears. Terror raised its ugly head twice too soon in London and  Mr. Donald Trump opted out of the Paris climate change agreement.  Back home the sex life of the peacock was in the news, the moral police were at work trolling a certain film star for being 'indecently dressed' as she met the PM.
Tejas, the superfast express train between Mumbai and Goa was vandalised on its very first run by none other than the commuters - 'shame shame Bhartiya vaasi..'What is it with us that we so preciously guard and care for private space and choose to disregard public property? We employ maids to clean our homes but have no qualms about soiling a brand new toilet seat in a brand new train or stealing headphones from that very train.Amid strong protests and mock funerals, trees are being felled left, right and centre to make away for the metro in amchi Mumbai. I am reminded of Gieve Patel's poignant poem - On killing a tree. Mother Earth weeps.
 We are so very proud   that  Matunga railway station is to be completely manned by women.Isn't that a shot in the arm to women empowerment? Good luck ladies!The bottle crushing machines installed at 10 suburban railway stations are reported to be doing brisk business. Installed as part of the Swaachh Bharat Campaign last year the number of plastic bottles treated as of April 30th totalled to 2,07,871 . The recycled bottles are used to make, clothes, carpets and grocery bags. It is but a fitting tribute to mother earth on World Environment day. Now she weeps tears of joy. 

At home, academics are in the air. The first - born an engineering student by day and passionate musician by night is doing an internship in hope of securing a good placement while is the second is hard at work preparing for exams.  When did the wonder years wander away?
 One day at a time sweet Jesus...

Ambling along.

Deep heat is what we have been experiencing for the past couple of months. May 2017 will draw to a close in another few days and the countdown to the great Indian Monsoon will begin if it has not yet begun. On the international front, May 2017 was marked by President Donald Trump's visit to Israel and the suicide bombing in Manchester.How many more lives are to be lost before peace prevails? What kind of high does taking a life give you? Some demented people spreading fear and terror, cutting short precious lives..Closer home India continues to fight for the life of one of her sons.Have mercy on us, dear Lord!

Your mother is the first person in your life. She gives birth to you and then raises you the best of her ability. You may argue and fight but she remains your closest confidante. A once strong and active woman, now in her 81st year is frail and tired. She moves slowly  and speaks softly and is unsure most of the time. She is happy to be around her grandsons.They tell her to have a 'chill - pill' She dotes on them and they dote on her. She loves reading the newspaper and generally reads it from start to end.  You cannot quite accept the person that she is today. She rode a luna, stitched your clothes, cooked your food, took up your lessons, got you married and helped you raise your sons.

You try hard to convince yourself that ageing is inevitable and the changes that you see are inevitable. Nevertheless, she is the first person in your life and you must be grateful and thankful for the time you spent with her and are spending with her. Incidentally, mothers were honoured on the  14th of May. The offspring did not have a clue about the day. Boys will be boys. My friend's son remembered and wished her at lunch. "Better late than never," I say.

Someone remarked that we hand write very little these days and that someone was so right. Besides the odd cheque and a few grocery lists, what is there to write. Typing and texting are more like it. All the typing and texting has taken a toll on the handwriting. Today I am not very proud of my writing. Schools generally lay a lot of emphasis on handwriting and the school I attended was no different. I vividly remember being given pages of copywriting in a grade as high as 9. There were those red and blue lined copywriting books and your writing had to touch the lines. Are they still in use? 

The Scent of Summer

  May is drawing to a close and a blazing sun is scorching the city. The temperature is soaring and city folk are complaining. All through April, May and June we go 'blah, blah, blah' until the heavens burst open in June. However, with the romance of the rain, we have to contend with waterlogging slush,  muck and other problems. 
 Both school and college kids are currently on a well-deserved summer break. The soft drink and ice cream companies are reaping huge profits. The health-conscious though prefer to stick to good old chaas. (buttermilk) Quite a few Mumbaikars are reclining in cooler climes. The rest are being roasted and toasted in the summer sun.

The king of fruits is reigning supreme as fruit stalls and markets wear a golden yellow hue. The best news of all has been delivered by a popular nutritionist who has waxed eloquently on the nutritional benefits of the  Mango. "Exercising a little restraint, eat to your heart's content" he says. It's got fibre, it's got vitamin C, so indulge! From Aamras and puri for breakfast, aam ki launji and a variety of mango pickles,  and mango milkshakes we are a mango-happy nation delighting in the succulent fruit all summer. The watermelon is also loved by most and from sinking your teeth into the juicy fruit, you can use it in a salad with cucumber and feta cheese and drinks. 

Summer brings on the heat, sweat grime and a steep increase in your power bills but summer has a lesson for us all in that how to remain cool when life becomes too hot to handle.